Posts from — June 2012

My parents celebrate their 30th anniversary this month. We’re having a party / family reunion this weekend; and in preparation I was recently quizzing them on their childhood and relationship history. At one point my mom suddenly burst out, “We’re really pretty boring!”

I laughed off that comment at the time, but later on I realized, “That’s what makes you guys remarkable.”

To clarify: being boring doesn’t mean they’ve been bored. Between running a business, raising five kids, and helping plant a church, boredom has difficulty existing.

But over all the years I’ve known my parents, they’ve been boringly consistent in matters of first importance — not through sheer willpower, but by God’s grace. Here are three particular areas that stand out to me.

Consistently Generous

“Do they really have to meet here again?” I remember my preteen self grumbling to my dad, referring to one of the many church-related meetings or practices at our house. My dad sort of shrugged and said, “It’s not really our house.”

And I think that attitude is what has enabled them to faithfully and joyfully give of their home, resources, and lives — this understanding that they are just stewards of these earthly belongings.

It’s not a matter of giving when it’s convenient or emotionally satisfying, but an open-handed lifestyle. My parents don’t just wait for opportunities to give to and serve others — they actively look for them, and they’ve done that for as long as I can remember.

Consistently Cheerful

One time at church my parents and I were standing in the hall laughing about . . . something (can’t remember what). An older gentleman walked by and gave us a strange look. A little while later, he came up to me and said, “You know, it’s really special to have a family that can honestly laugh together.”

I appreciate that my parents both have a good sense of humor and enjoy each other, family, and life. I appreciate that I can go to them to discuss a weighty matter and also to enjoy a good, lighthearted conversation. And that they still genuinely enjoy each others’ company after 30 years and 5 kids is wonderful to see.

Consistently United

My parents are very different people (opposite in several ways), and I know they don’t always agree. But they have always appeared united in matters of discipline and in laying down house rules. My brother Dan said it best when he said,

I see just how blessed we were to have parents that constantly shared their thoughts and feelings with each other. Even if [they] disagreed in how to discipline us, [they] wouldn’t display that division in front of us. In this way, [they] really modeled to me the dedication, love, and respect that a husband and wife should have for one another.

So happy anniversary to my parents, and here’s to another boring and blessed 30 years.

“The God I Want? Left to myself, the god I want is a god who will give me what I want. He — or more likely it — will be a projection of my desires. At the grosser level, this will lead me to one of the more obvious pagan gods or goddesses, who offer their devotees money, or sex or power (as Marx, Freud and Nietzsche pointed out).

All idols started out life as the god somebody wanted.

At a more sophisticated level, the god I want will be a god who lives up to my intellectual expectations: a god of whom I can approve rationally, judiciously, after due consideration and weighing up of theological probabilities. I want this god because he, or it, will underwrite my intellectual arrogance. He will boost my sense of being a refined modern thinker. The net result is that I become god; and this god I’ve made becomes my puppet. Nobody falls down on their face before the god they wanted. Nobody trembles at the word of a homemade god. Nobody goes out with fire in their belly to heal the sick, to clothe the naked, to teach the ignorant, to feed the hungry, because of the god they wanted. They are more likely to stay at home with their feet up.

. . . Can such a god really be God?”

N. T. Wright, For All God’s Worth: True Worship and The Calling of the Church

(Photo)

Lovely short, circa 1961, on brewing a good cup of good coffee. Some things don’t change much.

(via Brain Pickings)

I’m not one of those indie-loving hipsters who has been following the why-aren’t-they-more-famous band Over the Rhine for a long time. But ever since someone introduced me to this husband-wife duo about 1.5 years ago, I’ve known that OTR would plant themselves firmly into my regular listening rotation. Their music is deeply personal, yet timeless. Mostly, it is honest.

One of my favorite OTR songs is “Latter Days,” from their 1996 album, “Good Dog, Bad Dog.” It’s a heartbreaker, but not in an depressingly emo kind of way. There’s an acceptance of broken dreams — of difficulties and uncertainties that are part of every life. But even as the song captures the pain of an ending, you also get the feeling that it means now something new and better can come.

Songwriter Linford Detweiler comments on this song:
“[Latter Days has] become an important song for me. It was written in my bedroom, I was just scratching some things down. When it’s happening, you never know at the time that something is going to be that essential to your work. It’s just very informal. And that’s just one of the purest things I’ve ever written.

I was questioning another one of those periods where I felt like I was done with music, that I didn’t have what it took. So the whole bit about “dancing without me” is to other musicians . . . “You go on ahead and do it. I’ll get there eventually and I’ll be okay.” The lines about, “I just don’t have much left to say”… that’s very literal. “I’m supposed to be writing these songs, but I’ve been dashed on the rocks and I’ve got nothing left.” . . . To me, there’s something about that sadness that is ultimately joyful.

You try to tell a story on a record. “Latter Days” is the first song on “Good Dog Bad Dog”, but by the second song ["All I Need is Everything"] this person is already starting to realize that this place of brokenness is one of immense strength and renewal. Now that I realize that I’m completely shattered, I’m at a place where good things can happen.” (source)

Latter Days

What a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be.
Lord knows we’ve learned the hard way all about healthy apathy.
And I use these words pretty loosely.
There’s so much more to life than words.

There is a me you would not recognize, dear. Call it the shadow of myself.
And if the music starts before I get there dance without me. You dance so gracefully.
I really think I’ll be o.k. They’ve taken their toll these latter days.

Nothin’ like sleepin’ on a bed of nails. Nothin’ much here but our broken dreams.
Ah, but baby if all else fails, nothin’ is ever quite what it seems.
And I’m dyin’ inside to leave you with more than just cliches.

There is a me you would not recognize, dear. Call it the shadow of myself.
And if the music starts before I get there dance without me. You dance so gracefully.
I really think I’ll be o.k. They’ve taken their toll these latter days.

But tell them it’s real. Tell them it’s really real.
I just don’t have much left to say.
They’ve taken their toll these latter days.
They’ve taken their toll these latter days.

(Words & Music by Linford Detweiler)